Sacrificing Rain
by FrozenSnowDrop
Summary: I'm going to die, that I know is inevitable, especially when I have the Spirit of Death latched onto me. Despite that, I try and do what I can for other people, ignoring my ailing health, even when it angers my closest friend, the man I love, when I ferry souls for humans. I live to die, I live to sacrifice, so why can't I help but want to live just to be with him? HaoXOC
1. Chapter 1

**I hope you guys like this story! This is based on Hao's second life as a Patch. Please review and tell me what you think!**

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><p>Meda Yoki, that is my name and like my namesake, I follow the set path of the Meda tribe... The Meda tribe, is a nomadic tribe, never staying one place for too long. We go from village to village, plains to plains, mountains to mountains, setting up wherever it pleased us. It was our name that provided us food whenever the animals we hunted were almost nonexistent. The Meda tribe, a tribe that connected with the dead, bearing only shamans they carried a horrifying soul with them as they did exactly as was their tradition when confronted with people who had just lost their loved ones; ferry them into the afterlife. Yes it is told that souls can pass on when they are ready, it is true, but there are those who are lost, who lose themselves who are held down because of others that we must come in. There is also the reason that when being ferried it is easier for the spirit to be passed on for if they were to go by themselves wandering evil spirits could snatch them and send them to the depths of hell.<p>

Meda Yoki, that is my name and like my namesake, I follow the set path of the Meda tribe…or at least that was what I had intentionally wanted to do, but only one thing had stopped me. Since I was born my health had always been a problem. It seems as if I were to ever use a spirit to communicate with or connect with, my health would spiral down. Such a weakling child could never live the life of a Meda tribe member. As a result when we stopped, there was another tribe nearby. They were the Patch tribe and just like us they were shamans. They weren't nomadic like us and so the perfect opportunity came. I was left with the Patch tribe at the tender age of seven, watching as my tribe faded away into the dusk of night.

The incident caused me to get even sicker. The Patch healers had tried to help me, but it seemed as if nothing could be done. Even the furyoku that they had used only let me live a bit longer than one would think. Until a Patch child by the name of Hao had visited me that is; the boy himself was older than me by a year. His visits, with his smile and charisma had really cheered me up. Especially when he would connect with the spirits, taking on their personality, and little by little I regained my strength despite my leech hanging on tightly to my lifeline.

Now at the age sixteen, I've become one of the tribal healers, not in the sense of using my shaman powers, but rather with herbs and such. I've become like the Grim Reaper in the eyes of outsiders and to others in the tribe. I've become like an angel in the eyes of outsiders and to others in the tribe. In their eyes I am the Angel of Death, taking the souls of their loved ones ensuring their safe passage through the afterlife. Though only the tribal members know that when ferrying their souls, my own life is put in danger because of my leech. The outsiders don't know of such a thing, and I want it to stay that way. I can't let my health get in the way of lessening the burden that one feels when someone they love is gone forever. Doing such a thing, helping them feel better knowing that their person finally made it and isn't trapped in our world, makes me forget about this parasite of mine.

They tribe is fine with it. Well at least almost all of them. Only Hao who has become a great friend to me despises it, especially when the outsiders ask for my aid. It could be that they are human.

His hatred for humans, I know of it very well. It makes me wonder what had happened for him to have such an intense hatred for them. It makes me sad because I know with the way I am now, I could never help, but one day I will show him that not all humans are what he makes them out to be.

Why?

Because I Meda Yoki, am in love with the Patch tribal member Hao. I am in love with my friend, and love that will never be reciprocated.

Why?

A tribal man wants and needs a strong woman who has a strong spirit and can be able to give birth. A tribal man doesn't need a weak sick woman who could barely bare out her oversoul without almost being close to death.

Why?

It is Law of Nature. On the strongest survive. This was what I had been taught when I lived with my tribe. That was why I was abandoned. This is why I will be alone until my death. This is why my soul will be given to my companion spirit to be devoured.

Why?

The Meda's tribal spirit is the Spirit of Death, otherwise known as the Grim Reaper. By connecting with him, we are able to let our souls leave our bodies for a short few seconds to ferry the dead. By doing such a thing, it puts a strain on my body, killing it little by little. In fact I'm not even supposed to possess such a spirit, only caring the weaker smaller spirits if I were to carry the spirits over. But as the only daughter of the chief, I was granted with it by my mother without the rest of the tribal members knowing for reasons I don't even understand.

Because of this, I don't have much to live. Because of this, I will keep quiet of my feelings and try to save my friend from being consumed by his hatred. Hopefully, I could do this before passing away. For now though, this is my story of my remaining days in the Patch tribe.


	2. Chapter 2

**I hope you guys like this chapter! A special thanks to SK-fan7 for being my first reviewer! Another special thanks to everyone who favorited and put this story on story alerts!**

**SK-fan7: Sorry I took so long to update. Thanks for the compliment as well ^^ I hope this chapter is to your liking.**

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><p>Human life is such a fragile thing. It takes only a second for it to be formed yet the same could be said for death. The worst thing about it is that it could be said that we only live to die. Our memories, our hard work, everything we've done is all for nothing. It will all be gone in an instant after all.<p>

"Please help him!" She sobbed grabbing onto my tank top. Tears fell from her eyes rapidly, for a moment I even wondered if her tear ducts were endless. "I'll pay anything, just save my little boy!"

Yet for some strange reason, we still grasp onto with a death grip, that when the time comes we try to claw our way back up just for a more moments to live. Why? Why? Why fight for something when the end result is the same?

"Merith, stop there's nothing we can do." Her husband whispered to her brokenly, grabbing onto her shoulder.

I looked away from her and to the little boy laying on the bed lifelessly. His pale body contrasted greatly against his pure black hair stuck to his face, the stench of his death entrapping me. Above his body floated his soul, sad broken eyes staring at his parents. The eyes met with mine and for a moment it looked like a tear was shed.

"No, no!" She pushed him away from her, her hands grabbing my scarf now for me to look at her. The despair in her eyes reminded me so much of the others who I had met with before. The pain in them was no more and no less than the ones who I've seen break down when their most precious has left them.

"I'm begging you, bring back my little boy!" He voice croaked; a pair of pale seen through arms tried to hug her only for his body to fall through hers. His face showed a certain amount of pain and confusion before he tried to do it again.

"Johnny…"

"Momma? I'm still here!" He cried out waving his arms, unaware that he was floating. "Daddy why can't Momma hear me?"

"It's too late," I said gravely grabbing her trembling hands from my scarf, "I can't do anything but ensure his safe passage to the other side."

"Why didn't you do anything when you came here earlier?" She screamed as if I had just murdered him in front of her eyes. She pulled her hands back, weakly hitting me with her fists. "Bring him back to me!"

"B-But Momma I'm still here, see?" He made a face, but it fell when he realized she wasn't looking at him. Then a wail left his mouth. "Momma why aren't looking at me? Why are you telling that lady to bring me back when I'm here?"

"Please stop," I said softly grabbing her hands once more, "you're upsetting him."

"J-Johnny?"

I nodded in confirmation, looking over to her side. She followed my gaze, but where I saw a wailing boy trying to get his mother's attentions, she saw nothing but an empty room holding her son's dead body. Suddenly, she stood up straight, her hands falling out of my loose grip as she walked weakly over to where I was looking.

"J-Johnny sweetie?" She whispered, her husband looking over at here, before doing the same as she did. At the call of his name, Johnny stopped wailing and stared at his parents, his mouth ready to let out another cry.

"He's right in front of you." I supplied quietly trying carefully not to ruin their moment together.

Merith spread her arms open, and I knew that even though I couldn't see her face she was smiling through her tears. "Come give me a hug."

For a second his eyes and mine met mine and I nodded at him, which was all he needed before he flew at his mom. As if sensing he was there, her arms enclosed around his unseen spirit, her husband wrapping his arms around her. Together they cried as a family, knowing that their time together was finally gone from hands like water held in their hands.

Human life was indeed very fragile and it could be seen that we live only to die, but that isn't it. Rather we live to imprint ourselves into other's hearts so that way even though when we die our memories will be given back to the earth, they would be passed on by those who lived. We live for those times we had the greatest moments with everyone, and it's easy to see why one would want keep holding on. When we go, we realize everything we've done would disappear but to those we've imprinted ourselves in we'll still live on. It's not wrong to try to make the imprint deeper, we're just scared to be forgotten…at least that's how others may view it after all.

Human life, in my eyes, is rather fleeting in a way. Why not try to make the best of it after all. Well at least that's an opinion I don't act upon. After all when you know you're going to die, you hold it in and bare a strong face so as to not bother those who care about you. That way the burden wouldn't be as troubling to them, but it would be more on you. Such a thing, is a double-edged sword, hiding away your pain to lesson everyone else's burden, yet when you go you inflict more pain than what you had wanted from the beginning.

"Please take care of him." Merith whispered standing up alongside her husband. Johnny floated in between, his face showing that he didn't understand what was going on.

I looked over to my silent companion, nodding at him to show that I was ready. He pushed himself of the wall, his eyes showing no emotions. A small smile formed on my face, before I turned to look back at the family.

"Any last words Johnny?" I asked him sincerely. He looked up at me, at his parents and then at me.

"Why can't they see me and you can?"

"I possess a special gift."

"Like a hero?" His eyes sparkled with a large that made my smile become a bit bigger. He was too young to die. He was such a young naïve boy; to die at such a young age pains me.

"Something like that."

"T-Then do I have a gift too because momma and papa can't see me?"

The eagerness made me freeze for a moment. He still didn't understand his situation. He was just a child; of course he wouldn't realize what was going on.

"Johnny, will you come with me?" I asked carefully. His grin faltered. "I have to take you somewhere special."

"Can't momma and papa come too?"

A hand on my shoulder tore my attention off of the spirit, my eyes captured by my companions. His eyes bore into mine, telling me that I needed to hurry. His patience was already at its wits end. He hated what I did especially if it was for mere humans. I only smiled at him, turning my attention back to the boy.

"Not now Johnny. Where I'm taking you, you need a special invitation. But don't worry, your momma and papa will be invited later on."

"Do I have to go?" His lower jaw began to tremble and I knew he was going to cry again. My right hand gripped my knee as I bent down to pat his head. He stared up, tears that couldn't be shed in his eyes, but only he was unaware of that fact. I grinned at him.

"If you stay here your momma and papa will be very sad. They love you so much that they're letting you go. Don't worry, because before you know it, your momma and papa will be with you."

"Do I have to?"

"Johnny it's okay." His dad said strongly, with a slight waver in his voice. "Go and have fun. Your mom and I will be with you soon."

Johnny's jaw still trembled, threatening to let out a loud cry, but he nodded his head at his dad who could only stare at an empty place.

Merith turned to me and nodded, no longer trying to force a smile in the direction of where she hoped son was, but only showing a determination to not lose face again.

Without another word, I pulled the amulet, which hung on my skirt, off the loose strands of buckskin hanging onto it tickling my palm. I raised the blue green amulet to my face, sending mana to it. Soon it glowed, and I pressed a chaste kiss to it. The world then went black for a moment and then it was nothing. My eyes opened, my red hair sprayed around me as if it were in water. I let my body float for a moment, until I felt the intense killing intent I was used to feeling when I would dispatch my soul from my body.

"Another one? My dear child aren't you just becoming a great protégé for me."

"Hello Grim."

I stood upright, turning my body to face my spirit. His gray cloak floated aimlessly, his maniacal grin as always still formed on his face. His eyeless sockets bore into my eyes as let out a cackle.

"A child I see."

"Please let me go." I said already starting to float past him. He appeared in front of me, another cackle echoing in my ears.

"Not just yet. I need a taste you, you know. I need to see if my Rain has become even sweeter." Looking at his face, I knew I would never be able to tell what he was thinking. He did things that only benefited for him and him only. Letting him taste my soul would make things worse when I would return back to my body.

"Not this time, _he's_ with me." I hissed, glaring at him. If anything his grin widened.

"Ah yes the shaman who hates humans. It would be bad if I were to taste you and everything would be worse than usual." He pause looking over to the passage I've been wanting to past. His head snapped over to me, his spirit engulfing me as he said, "All the more reason to do it."

"Grim don't –"

My plea was for nothing as his teeth dug into my soul. A soundless scream escaped my mouth, my eyes seeing black for a moment as an unlimited pain washed over me. In a second he let go of me, making a satisfied noise, the pain still holding onto me.

"Better than last time, but at this rate there'll be nothing to eat when you finally die, my dear Yoki." He turned away; leaving me floating in this nothingness will only pain to accompany me. Suddenly something flew straight at me, coming to a stop before it would pierce where my heart would be.

I was left only with his cackle echoing in my ears, and his scythe floating before me. I took a deep breath, burying the pain deep inside me as I grabbed the scythe and finally went through the passage I had targeted before.

A sigh escaped my lips. They say a near death experience increases your furyoko, yet it does nothing but only increase my pain and illness. What good is such a strong furyoko for me that the moment I would use it I would die. Exciting my body like that would kill me. It's a surprise that I have yet to die from ferrying souls. But the only reason for that is because of Grim, the true Angel of Death, who controls my life in his palm.

It was bright for a moment and then the room finally came into my view. I forced a smile when I heard Johnny gasp as he turned to me. I held out my free hand towards him saying, "Let's go home."

He looked back at me and then to his crying parents before shakily grabbing my hand. My smile became genuine as I patted his head and whispered, "Don't be scared."

I turned to look back at my companion who stared at me with an un-describing gaze, soon it became cold when he looked back at the parents.

"I'll be back, don't do anything please, Hao."

I knew he understood, and I knew he wasn't as foolish as to do anything stupid, but it was difficult for him when he watched as I wasted away my life to ferry the dead, especially when it came in regards to humans. One day, hopefully I could make him understand why I do the things I do, but until now his hatred will boil until it's ready to explode.

I brought down my scythe opening a rift between this world and the next. I looked down at Johnny who looked back up at me and nodded. His hand tightened around my own and together we went through the portal that would carry us to our destination.

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><p>"Thank you for everything." John said quietly to us, pressing a small bag into my hands. "I hope this covers all the trouble we given you."<p>

I merely shook my head, turning to dig into my satchel that I carried with me when I went on missions like this. I pulled out some herbs, handing them to John.

"Ginseng to reduce any stress you may feel, Valerian to help with sleeping, and Lavender to be used as a fragrance to help with either if the other two don't work as well. Ginseng and Valerian can be both made into tea."

"I can't express my gratitude enough."

I shook my head and bid him good bye. I clutched onto Hao's cloak tightly making myself walk normal as we walked away from the grieving family. When we were finally away from the house's sight, I coughed up the blood I had been holding back. The copper taste coated my mouth as my legs gave out from under me.

"Stupid girl." Hao muttered catching me before I fell to the floor. He set me upright, before bending in front of me. I wrapped my hands tiredly around his neck, letting all my body weight fall on him. He gripped my knees, standing up effortlessly continuing our walk.

"Thank you for coming. I know how much you hate this." I whispered, my grip tightening when a wave of pain came over me.

"If I didn't come they would take advantage of you. They're humans; all they care about is themselves and who they have to step on for their own gain. You are no different; sacrificing yourself for such filthy creatures."

"You'll understand one day."

My eyes fluttered close as a gentle breeze passed by. I took a small breath, ignoring the stinging pain that vibrated all through my body. I wouldn't be like this if Grim hadn't tasted me. Usually I'm only feeling weak, but this is too much. He _knew_ what would happen if he did it, and despite that he still tasted me. What a horrible spirit I have with me.

"You're too naïve when it comes to them."

"As you are too brutal."

"Just sleep. I know how much pain you are in right now. No need to overexert yourself anymore over our pointless fights."

I smiled, despite the pain, finally letting myself succumb to sleep.

When I would wake, I would as usual be in my bed, away from the other villagers. I would have the healers over me, once again letting them heal what could be healed and what couldn't. The village would more than likely be holding a feast like usual, the dancers dancing to a beat, making them seem like goddesses in the men's eyes. While I, I would stay here watching from a distance, envying them, wishing I could partake in such a thing, knowing better that if I were to, I would become even sicker.

Such a troublesome person I am. This is why I was left by my tribe, and yet this is this tribe keeps me. What is on Law to Meda is nothing in the eyes of Patch. I follow the Meda life, and yet I stick with Patch values. This could be why I try to strengthen up my stamina when no one is looking. Because when I was disregarded by one, I was accepted by another. The least I could do is be useful, though in the end I become a burden once more. Such a troublesome never ending vicious cycle, that has become my routine in my life with them.

Soon though it would end. Just like a pouring rain that sacrifices itself to give life to the world, I too sacrifice my own to help others, in the end however the rain would end and a beautiful rainbow. My death, rather wouldn't leave something as such, I'm afraid with the way things are going it would be nothing as pure as that.

Great Spirit, what am I to do?

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><p><strong>Thanks guys for reading this chapter! Please review and tell me what you think! Ask any question and I'll try my best to answer it, and ask Yoki a question as well! See you guys next time!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**I hope you guys like this chapter! A special thanks to SK-fan7 for being my first reviewer! Another special thanks to everyone who favorited and put this story on story alerts!**

**SK-fan7: As for Hao having his third life, it'll definitely happen. For the marriage thing well...*looks at Yoki who blushes and looks away with a small smile*...yeah well the idea of marriage will come up in one of these on-coming chapters, and in the end Hao will end up married but if it's with Yoki or not that you will have to find out ;) Thank you for your review!**

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><p>The wind danced around, leaving a howling melody in its wake. The dirt picked up, swirling around in the air for a few moments only stopping when the wind did. A few seconds later the wind danced again, the dirt happily flowing around along with it.<p>

The howling melody only stopped shortly as if taking a breath before continuing on with its song. And just like before, the wind and dirt would take part in their dance. Every now and then a rare leaf would flow by, going along with the unseen dancing wind and twirling dirt.

I smiled, feeling my red hair take part in the dance. My bangs followed in suit but managed to stay together due to the beads that held them together on each side; the same color as the amulet strung onto my waist.

"It's a beautiful day today." I commented lightly to my partner with a small smile. Hao glanced at me and snorted while his hair wisped around his face wildly. I giggled quietly taking a bit faster pace than usual.

"Explain again why you suddenly wanted to leave the village." Hao inquired matching my pace easily. My smile fell no longer seeing that wind and dirt as dance partners but rather seeing it as the melody to one's funeral. The stench of death lingered in the air because of the wind, but I doubt he knew that.

"Someone's dying out there." I replied after a moment. "Who or what I don't know, but their wailing soul is crying out to me. Their stench of death is so strong that I can no longer ignore. Whether they live or die is up to them, I'm only the deliver."

"Then let's go back. If it's a human they deserve to die. Don't waste your time on them."

"You could go back then; you're the one who decided to come with me after all." I smirked slightly as he stayed quiet for a moment.

"If I didn't go, you'll probably end up in a ditch somewhere."

"Could it be, that you, the Great Hao that all of Patch Tribe bows down to, is worried about little me?" I teased lightly. "I feel special."

"I was bored."

"Therefore I'm you're entertainment? How harsh."

"Hn."

I laughed slightly, the stench becoming stronger. My laughter faded away as I could feel it. The pulse of the heart slowly fading away, the determination to make it through, the desolate feeling of knowing that even though in the end you'll just end up dead.

I stopped short and closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath. The pulse was becoming stronger in my ears, but I knew it was nothing as such. The soul was still desperately clinging onto the dying body.

"Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be free? Dear my love, aren't you tired from hanging on? Take my hand and don't let go. I'll ferry your soul to where it belongs." I sang quietly, feeling the pulse run through my body.

Rage and sorrow. The emotions covered my being, engulfing me completely. Distantly I could feel and hear everything, but all was lost to me. In the back of my head, I could hear Grim chide me for letting myself get caught up in the soul's emotions, in the end however I could care less.

My eyes snapped open. The emotions were gone as if they weren't there in the beginning. The pulse disappeared leaving nothing in its wake. The stench of death was gone, the howling melody for their departure fading away into nothingness.

Then as quick as it left it came back, the overwhelming stench, emotions, and pulsation. Nausea hit me for a moment, the feeling causing me to take a step back. I took a deep breath before breaking into a run. My body groaned in protest, my pulse accelerating at a rapid pace that would no doubt come back to hurt me. Despite all this I didn't care, whether I was pushing my body to the limits or not. That soul was still clinging onto something in this life. The emotions it has now would only lead to its downfall and no doubt it would turn into a demon and we would have to banish it, destroying it.

"Their soul, shall I devour it my sweet Rain." Grim mused quietly in my mind. I shook my head furiously, gauging at the whereabouts of the desperate soul.

I skidded to a stop breathing heavily, the smell of death mixed with blood lingered in the air. A few feet away from me lay a girl and a dog. My eyes widened slightly. Could that be why the stench was stronger than usual? If anything that would best explain why the other soul was desperately trying to live on; they're fighting with Death because of their partner, how gusty of them. Still what is the reason of fighting to live if the other soul has already gone?

Blood was splattered all over the floor; pieces of clothing flittered around carelessly. The dog itself had blood in its fur, either from its owner or itself, I couldn't really tell. I felt Hao come up next to me, but if he was affected by any of this, he didn't show it.

The dog's head moved upwards from the girls stomach, its' mouth forming into a snarl as loud growl managed to cover the whole area. Struggling, it forced itself to get up and I assessed the damages done. A broken front leg, a major cut from the chest to most likely the belly, a blinded eye from the blood, two fatal bite marks on the neck and hind leg; it was a miracle it was still alive. This was the soul I was sensing?

"His soul, shall I devour it?" Grim cackled, but his words went through one ear and out another as I took a small step closer to the two. The dog snarled getting ready to attack if need be. Even in her death, he protects her, how admirable.

I bent down carefully reaching out my hand. The dog flinched before snapping at it defiantly. My eyes tore away from the dog and looked at the owner. The no doubt once bright blonde hair was stained with red, lifeless eyes widened in horror stared out into nothing, the mouth formed into a wordless scream. Her dress was tattered and ripped, showing bite marks and claws ingrained into her skin. On her wrists, were bruises that belonged to person's hand, no doubt a male. Yet her soul was already gone leaving a hollow cut up body. My eyes snapped over to the dog in confusion. Her soul is gone and his soul still fights to live in this dying body. What really happened here? Doesn't he want to be with his owner he is so desperately trying to protect now?

"Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be free? Dear my love, it's time to go. Don't cry and take my hand. Where I'll take you is a place where you'll be safe." I sang softly to the body. "Come with me, don't look back you're safe now. Let's go to the place where you can be safe."

A loud whine escaped the dog's mouth before a black soul appeared in front of me. It took form, showing the spirit of a bat, one of the many that have come attached to me because of Grim. The dog's mouth formed into a snarl as he snapped at the flittering bat soul.

"Shall I take you?"

His eyes snapped up to me, before looking back at my bat nervously. His silver eyes turned to his owner sadly before an angry bark escaped his mouth, his eyes snapping towards me showing nothing but rage. Its black matted fur clung to its body, the white tuff on its chest covered with a mix of their blood, as a loud cry left its mouth. He took a step over his owner's body protectively, a low growl directed by us.

I blinked raising my hand to calm down my spirit, noticing that the action caused the dog to flinch and react violently. I frowned looking back to inspect to the wounds on the girl's body.

"Even in death, you protect her." I commented lightly reaching to get a closer look only to have him bark angrily and snap at me. "But why?

"Yoki if it is like this then, let's head back. The dog wishes to die with his owner. Don't deny him that right." Hao put in coldly. A sigh escaped my lips as I nodded in agreement, though my eyes didn't leave the dogs'. My bat sighed sadly knowing that he wouldn't help this time before disappearing; I'd have to make it up to him later on.

I really didn't want to leave it like this. I wanted to still save him. If I didn't, I would go against my values that I treasured so much to where I would go against the Meda way. If I didn't the values I treasure because of the person who instilled them into me, wouldn't that be very disappointing and shameful? Wouldn't that make my most precious person be disappointed in me? I can't do that.

"Those who wish not to be saved leave them be. You are wasting our time." Hao turned away, already starting to walk back towards the village.

I looked back at the dog who resigned himself to laying his head on her stomach again. He looked up at me, before looking back down. I blinked, knowing for that fleeting second that something else had flashed in his eyes. I smiled and bent down in front of him, angrily he bared his fangs at me.

"Your soul, shall I take care of it?" A growl ripped from his throat. "Don't be angry at yourself for still living." An angry bark was my reply. "Don't you think doing this is rather selfish of you? Your owner, she her soul has already gone and yet you struggle to live to protect someone who has already passed on," I raised my hand causing him to snap at me, I smiled at him and patted the top of his head. "Wouldn't the best thing for her is to live on?"

Slowly his snarl went away, his silver eyes looking down. I sat down on top of my knees, reaching back to grab my satchel. I rummaged through it taking out a small vial of water, a few drier pieces of Oregano and Honeysuckle, a small white marble mortar and pestle.

"Tell me now if you wish to die, before I waste my precious herbs."

"You're already wasting your time." Hao called out. I smiled a bit glad that he didn't end up leaving me.

I ripped the leaves off the Oregano and the aerial parts of Honeysuckle. I placed them in the inside the mortar then started to grind it with the pestle. I kept grinding it until it was nothing but powder; from there I grabbed the vial, twisting the cork off. I titled the vial to where a few drops of water came out before putting the cork back in place. Once more I grabbed the pestle, mixing the powder and water until it formed into a paste. I turned back to my satchel, grabbing pieces of stripped linen.

"Your front leg, I can only wrap it up until we go back to the village and put some ointment to lessen the pain. Other than that I can only clean your wounds and put this ointment on it. First let me clean your wounds."

The stripped linen fell from my hand as pain erupted throughout my chest. Blood spurted out of my mouth landing on the dog. His silver eyes widened as he let out a small whimper. Wildly coughs escaped my mouth, the intense pain increasing in my chest causing another whimper to come from my patient.

"I'm okay, just a bit sick is all." I forced a smile, ignoring the itching in my throat to cough. "This happens when I tend to accidently overexert my body and ignore it in favor of someone else. I'm rather weak aren't I? Running around for just a short amount of time and I'm reduced to something like this."

"You're just a stupid girl who has yet to realize her limits." Hao stated calmly placing a hand on top of my head. My eyes widened slightly when he sat down next to me grabbing the abandoned linen. "Wasting away her life for something like this."

I wiped away the blood watching as he went to work to cleaning the dogs' wounds. Surprisingly he didn't resist and let himself be taken care of. My smile became genuine as I started to apply the ointment onto his leg.

The dog lifted his head up slightly, his pink tongue rolling out and for a second against my hand was something wet. My eyes snapped over to the dog that had turned his head away from me. Inside I felt the burst of joy fill me.

"For things like this, I don't think it's wasting my life. Because of someone precious to me I was taught that all life was special and meant to be taken care of."

"This person lied to you. This world has been corrupted by people who think the opposite."

"Humans are rather selfish, but then again so are we shamans. Take away our gifts and abilities, aren't we the same as them."

"Don't even compare us to those disgusting creatures."

"Your hatred for them, I can't even fathom on how it began. I only wish I could lessen it just by a little."

"You mean you want to change my mind completely."

Carefully I began to wound the bandages around the paw, wary of making sure it wasn't too tight.

"No, that's not something I can do. I can only influence so much, the one who could truly make you change your mind is yourself. That is why it has always been said that your worst enemy is yourself."

"That's rather weak minded. Could it be, I'm not held as high as your 'precious someone'?"

The wind blew gently, caressing my body softly. I looked up, watching my red hair float in front of me. I smiled remembering the same color that contrasted against his pale face. For a second an image flickered in my eyes, the image of my precious Rowan.

"No I would hope not," I turned to Hao, my smile becoming bigger, "chasing after you would seem impossible to me if I did that."

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><p>My eyes wandered over to sleeping dog for a moment wishing I could know what he had seen. His wounds and the girls were not something that could have been made a normal human. His reaction to my bat spirit wasn't that odd, but when I reached to calm my spirit down, his reaction was.<p>

"No doubt it was likely them." Grim voiced my thoughts, his gray soul appearing in front of me. I nodded in agreement, ripping off the amulet on my skirt.

"Why they appeared and why nobody sensed it is unknown to me. The Meda tribe had vowed to never come near the Patch tribe since they abandoned me here. I can't help but feel as if they are calling me out. The body was far away to where we wouldn't notice until later on, but not enough to where their furyoku wouldn't be sensed." My grip tightened around the amulet. Angrily I looked at my main spirit.

"As the holder of my spirit, and the _true_ heir of Meda tribe your life has always been surrounded around death making you highly sensitive to it. My sweet Rain, it is more than likely it was a warning towards you. Why they are acting now doesn't concern me. You are _mine_, and mine alone."

He was right. This aggressive attack against a human was something the Meda tribe used as a warning to other tribes and villages. Yes I followed the Meda life, but their values are too sickening for me to even properly respect and follow. If it wasn't for Rowan, I would be as cruel as they were toward everything. We are nomads, and sometimes we do depend on people for shelter and food when there is a lack of it. Ferrying souls in one way of going about it, but there is that darker side that holds an unquenchable thirst for blood. If anything, this is the only thing I was glad about my disease for making them abandon me. They are truly the bringers of death.

It's amazing to be honest. That I managed to survive them those seven years the way I did, being as weak as I am. If it wasn't for mother no doubt I would have been killed or abandoned earlier. This was Meda Law. Kill or abandon the weak, bear only the strong for that is the only way the Meda tribe could exist.

"Your soul I will devour it before they could." Grim vowed showing his form, his skeletal face in front of mine. He floated behind me, his cloak floating through my body. "Once though, my dear Yoki I would like to see how the way of the Meda would look on you. Your face twisted in sadistic pleasure over your kill, feeding me defenseless souls. Your mother sealed it away, the darkness that tribe is known for because it would lead to your death. But _I_ am the Grim Reaper, Bringer of Death, you could always run away from me, in the end I _will_ _always_ _capture_ _you_."

"Violence doesn't suit my taste."

"It's a shame isn't it that your most precious person had gotten a hold of you before the Meda could. The one person whose values you hold over everyone else's' isn't even a member of the Meda tribe, Rowan. Why the only thing you have in common –"

" –Stop it Grim – "

" –is the blood of your father. The hemi-shaman who was casted out before –"

" – don't even say it – "

" – he was even born because of his human mother; you follow such a disgrace's values."

I turned around angrily pointing a finger at him. "Say one more thing about my brother Grim Reaper and I will have no qualms about setting upon another curse on you that bounded you to this earth and my tribe."

"Oh could it be that I managed to make the pacifist child resort to such tactics, how amusing."

"Trust me Grim Reaper, it will be more than just being bound to walk this Earth for all eternity and serving the Meda tribe like the founder of our tribe had cursed you to. Even if it kills me, I would do everything in my power to make sure that for all eternity you will suffer for saying such things."

His skeletal mouth formed into a smirk, reverting into his ball form. I glared at him wishing nothing more than that a spirit could be hit psychically and know pain. He had no right to talk about him like that. He had no right say the things he did. It doesn't matter to me that Rowan was my half-brother, or that he wasn't fully shaman. He was the only one that saw me when I was younger and didn't see me as a burden when I would see him because of father. He is my most precious in the world and I will throw away my pacifist ways to defend him.

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><p><strong>Thanks guys for reading this chapter! Please review and tell me what you think! Ask any question and I'll try my best to answer it, and ask Yoki a question as well! Oh and please help me come up for a name for the pooch in this chapter. Give reviews on what you think it should be and I'll hold a poll until my next chapter; thanks for your help! See you guys next time!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys I know it's been a while, but I've been really busy. As a gift to all of you I made this chapter especially long ;). Also I noticed I never put a disclaimer so shame on me.****  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I only Yoki, the dog, Rowan, the Meda tribe, etc...sadly:(**

**Shamanloverxoxo - thanks for the name! The names are down to Grim, Blaze, and Cerberus.**

**XxChocolateXxLoveXx - actually yeah it is in the summary from the first time before I changed it. Those are cute names! Rowan will definitely show up and possibly effect the relationship between Hao and Yoki. I am kind of going for that heart disease. At the time it was the only thing I could think of and if any one goes against the side effects I have for Yoki, please tell me, I would greatly appreciate it. You'll see ;) Oh and thanks for the drawing! I'll post it up on my profile as soon as possible for everyone to see! I also used some aspects of the drawing in here as well.**

**XBreathXLessX - Perhaps there was a bit of jealousy there ;) Yoki when translated means Rain, hence the title. Thanks for all those names! I will actually get into touch about it, but I don't know if I'll spend a lot of time there.**

**SK-fan7 - Aw thanks! Don't worry most of those mysteries will probably be solved and don't be afraid to ask any more questions. I have no problem with answering them! Yeah it's going a bit slowly with the development due to Yoki believing Hao won't care for her like that *rolls eyes* (oblivios people nowadays.) Grim is kind of annoying, now that I think about it. Geez he just needs to go and die...wait he's already dead...crap lol. I hope you enjoy this chapter since I took so long!**

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><p><em>The moon smiled down at the world, her beautiful glow showing nothing but sorrow. Perhaps she could sense it, if not see it, the death that surrounded everything. Watching how every living thing dies and become a spirit before sinking into the earth. It could be however, it isn't that the death that makes her beauty such a sad sight, but rather she can see it but never experience it. All the moon could ever do was stare down, always watching – such a sad sight indeed – and yet I always find myself envying her, staring up at her, wishing with all my might that I could be like her.<em>

_"Little Rain, why are you all the way out here?"_

_I blinked, the voice breaking me out of my trance. I wretched my gaze from the moon to see father smile down at me; the moonlight kissed his red hair in a majestic like way, while his black eyes glowed under the beautiful pale light. In a smooth motion he planted himself next to me, legs dangling off the cliff I had found myself fixated on the past few nights we had been here._

_"Because I am not welcomed elsewhere; Grim has taken a liking to my company and he scares me." I craned my neck up again towards the moon. "This is the only place where I feel like I am not a burden."_

_"You could have come to me. It hurts that you came to the moon first than to me, at least I can talk."_

_"Father…am I burden to you as well?" I brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. "Perhaps mother is right, maybe I should let go already."_

_"Yoki, you are no such thing but my precious daughter. Ignore the other tribal members; they are just jealous because they do not have such a beautiful learned child. What has your mother said this time?"_

_"I am weak. I can not do what other girls my age have already begun. Grim is right in telling me to let him have my soul already."_

_"Yoki, look at me."_

_I refused, staring only at the object of my envy. Father sighed softly, before ruffling my hair. I rebuffed the action, wishing that everything would end already. I was tired of this world, I was tired of my tribe, I was tired of this life. I am of no use to my tribe, I have no other purpose. Everything, even the glorious the moon in all her sorrowful beauty has become some sort of revulsion to me. At least then they had a purpose in life, while mine was _stolen_ from me by this illness._

_"Do you know what your name means?"_

_Of course I knew. Father himself would always remind me of it hoping that somehow it would console me. His intentions may be pure but it always left a bitter taste in my mouth and a heavy stomach. It is the nickname he and Grim had given me; it was almost _endearing_ if it hadn't been for the fact that the meaning is worthless on me._

_"The rain that gives life to this world and can also take it away; such a fitting name for the daughter of the next holder of the spirit, Grim Reaper…but yet you hate such a name. Care to enlighten this old warrior as to why?"_

_"Father, what use is the rain sacrificing itself to give life if all the rain does is kill whatever it touches? The healers even say that nothing could be done for me, but rather all would be best if I just go ahead and die. What use is the rain if it can't even bring life or joy? I can't take after mother for either way I will die. I can't take after you because the tribe will be in uproar over a _weak female chief_. In this life, there is no reason for my existence."_

_"You are young my dear, barely at the tender age of four. You know not the meaning in your words."_

_"You have said time and time again, that age is just a number." I sniffed, feeling tears rising, begging to fall. "I've learned what my life is and will be within this tribe. Everything to me now has become sickening in such a way I despise every single living thing in this world; humans and shamans alike. Mother has taught me that humans are disgusting creatures and yet who is to say that shamans are not? Look at the way we live, are we not like them as well in using others for our own benefits."_

_"You are young Little Rain." He grabbed my chin making me look at him. His dark eyes softened as he wiped away the tears that fell down my eyes. "One day you will see the world I see now. The world I see is such an amazing beautiful sight. Every little living thing lives to its fullest even if it dies in the end. Like the leaf spirits on a tree, or the flower spirits, even us shamans and humans believe it or not. My child you just have to find the right people to find what you feel is lacking in this world. Come, let's rest I will take you to see someone tomorrow."_

_He stood and stretched, the smile never leaving his face. He looked back down at me, a hand now outstretched towards me. Hesitantly I grabbed it, hoisting myself upright. With another ruffle of my hair he turned away and walked back towards camp. For a moment as I stared after him, I wonder if what he had meant had to deal with the woman he had loved before marrying mother. Was she the one who filled the lacking feeling of his? What a powerful woman then, she must be to be able to take away the hate he had held before like all the other tribal members._

_I clenched my fists, turning back to the moon. Disgust riled up in me, seeing not a beautiful moon no more but a pitiful sight. As if there was anything like that in this world; someone so powerful enough to take away ones' hate what a foolish notion. This world, how annoying it has become to me. Everything here is worthless. I myself am worthless. Only on ability of mine doesn't make worthless. It is my crutch, my savior, my life; without it...my existence is meaningless._

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><p>"You know what this means don't you, Yoki." Flourin the eldest healer in the tribe stated, her dark eyes staring me down. I met her stare and nodded despite the dryness in my mouth.<p>

"We discussed it last night with the others. This was the best decision we had came up with." Neo put in softly, standing tall next to her sisters. I clenched my jaw and gave another nod in response.

"For now it would be best dear, if you keep to yourself from now on until further development in this case is provided." Chlorin, the last to make up of the healer sisters said calmly. "Even though we know you haven't been in touch with them, precautions have been made."

"Of course elders. I understand the situation I am in." My nails broke through my skin as I forced a smile on. I was to be out casted within the village itself. I will be treated as an outsider from now on because more bodies had been found, just like the girl from a few weeks ago. The main fact of the matter though, was that the latest body to be found was a tribal member, Mika, who was one of the last two who held the position of priest in the village.

"Do not worry about me. I know enough to take care of myself. Thank you for everything you have done for me."

"We know you had no part in this chaos, but because you hail from them…I'm afraid suspicion had been turned to you."

"As of now I, Yoki Meda, will no longer harbor or tend to any patients. My abilities will now be disabled until further notice, leaving him to be the last one I will treat." My eyes glanced at the dog that lay in a peaceful sleep on the mat next to me. They fell downcast, seeing the blood that splattered onto the floor from my hands. "As of now, I will be stripped of my title as a tribal healer."

"I'm sorry it came to be this way, Yoki."

"As am I, elders."

With a soft sigh and an exchange of glances they exited my adobe. I swallowed, ignoring the itch at the back of my throat and brought my hands up to my face. Blood flowed freely from the moon shaped marks on my palm. My body began to tremble, my knees starting to go weak. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself.

It wasn't fair. All my hard work these past years are nothing but rubbish to me now because of my former tribe. Everything I had learned is worthless to me, because the herbs were the only thing that didn't render me useless. Without it…I'm just a weak shaman who could barely hold her own.

I sucked in another deep breath, ignoring the stinging sensation forming in my eyes. I needed to get away for a moment. I needed to get my thoughts and emotions in order. Staying is starting to suffocate me. I have to get away before something terrible will happen.

Disregarding the tingling pain in my hands, I grabbed my pouch along with other things and with one last look at the sleeping dog I rushed out of my adobe, my breathing starting to become erratic. However, I ended up crashing into someone who was coming in at the same time. A grunt left both of our lips, my things falling to the floor. Not bothering to apologize, I bent down hurryingly grabbing my things wanting nothing but to escape from here.

"Yoki, what happened to your hands?" A soft feminine voice exclaimed in surprise. I peered up noticing it was Aiyana, the second – well actually now the only one with the title as a priestess in the village. Her light brown eyes stared at me worriedly; the black feather tucked in the brown bun on top of her head blew gently with the wind.

"I-I- forgive me Aiyana, but I have somewhere to go at the moment." I spoke desperate to get away from her. I jumped up and pushed past her, only to have her grab my arm. I bit the inside of my lip and looked back at her.

"I'm truly sorry about what happened." She was, I could tell from the sincerity in her eyes and in her tone. But that just made my situation even worse. I felt like a small child trying to be consoled over something. I hated the feeling.

"I'm fine. It's just that there's somewhere I need to be at the moment." I pulled my arm from her grip turning away, only to break into a run. Where I was going, I had no clue nor did I care. Wherever my feet will lead me is fine, as long as it was away from gossiping members, prying eyes, judging stares. It was like my childhood all over again. This had to be a nightmare. Great Spirit please let this be a nightmare.

Why was the only thing I prided myself in stripped away from me in such a manner? They knew me for seven years, after I was _abandoned_ by that tribe. Yet they have the smallest doubt as to where my loyalties lie? Yes I want to follow the way of the Meda, more than anything because that's the only thing that would keep me close to my father and mother, but there was no way I would have their revolting values. I would rather die than become like them in such a way. But, they could care less about that. All they saw was someone that could be a traitor to them because of such a person's background.

It wasn't fair. Herbal medicine was the only thing that made me feel…valuable to them. It was my gift in repaying them back for everything they had done for me. Without it (the thought of not being of use to them) terrified me. Once again, I had become inadequate to a tribe. Would they, like my old tribe abandon me? Would I be outcasted because of my former tribe? Everything doesn't make sense no more. I'm scared. I'm scared of being tossed aside, rendered insignificant because what I had was once again taken away from me.

The world began to spin, the ground coming closer, the sky disappearing. Soon enough, objects clattered to the floor, the taste of dirt in my mouth. Pain seared from my ankle, most likely it was either sprained of twisted from the uproot that tripped me. Tears spilled down my eyes, effectively coating my dirt covered face into something akin to a mud face. I wiped my face furiously with my scarf before angrily ripping it off my neck and throwing it into the ground. A scream of frustration left my mouth.

I pushed myself back until my backside hit the uncomfortable feeling of wood. My eyes shut, eyelids squeezing tight as I ran my hand through my red hair. A sigh of frustration left my mouth as my free hand gently skimmed my freed flesh around my neck and above my chest. The sensation tickled my skin lightly until finally my fingers stopped in the middle, under the small dip* where my fingers felt the small rough skin on some parts. Despite not being able to see, I knew full well that it was still there. The seal that rendered me hopeless in my tribe and sealed away the 'darkness' that all Meda held within them; the triskelion seal, a seal that was a triple spiral connecting together; something I could never forget for it will always be forever engrained on me.

My body relaxed a bit, slouching against the tree tiredly. My heart beat wildly in my chest, creating a small discomfort that was ignored. My fingers dazedly traced the burnt skin, remembering the countless times when I would pass the time away by musing myself with the moon as it traced it.

_"My sweet little Rain, won't you let me have your soul already?" Grim grinned at me, his hollow eyes giving me the feel that it wasn't me he was staring at but my soul, thirsting for it. His grin widened as he bent down to where his skull wasin my face. I stared back, forcing myself not to show any fear._

_"Oi Grim leave my daughter alone." A strong voice ordered. Grim laughed, moving away from my face to stare at the person who interrupted him. Relief flood through me, until another unknown feeling creeped up on me, disturbing me slightly._

_"Papa, you're home early." I whispered quietly, pushing the buckskin cover off of me. I got up, my feet touching the cold dirt to give him a hug. "Where's mommy?"_

_Papa bent down on one knee, his hand on my hand already ruffling up my short hair. He grinned at me, but it didn't reach his grey eyes. My hand reached up, latching itself onto his red bangs, giving it a gentle tug._

_"Let's go see how your brother is, Yoki. I've heard while we were gone no one played with you or cared for you." He pulled me to him, his strong arms embracing me. My hand let go of his hair in favor of wrapping my arms around his neck. I buried my face into his neck knowing that it had happened again. They had killed yet another person and a person from the tribe had died. That's why he was taking me away. They were going to hurt me because I failed in telling them who was and wasn't going to die. Father will be restricted while mother will watch emotionlessly._

_Life...life is annoying and useless. Humans are annoying and useless. Shamans are annoying and useless. Everyone in this world should just die. Only animals and plants should live. Shamans and humans alike are worthless; they all deserve to die. Life? It's nothing. This whole world just lives to die; everything is just so pointless. To get riled up over such a thing is stupid. We all live to die, simple as that and yet people still try so hard when there is no point to it all. It would be better if everyone had just died, or perhaps me instead._

_It wasn't my fault I couldn't sense it. Just because I am sensitive to death doesn't mean what I say will always come true. But…I happen to like it. The attention I get from them, it makes feel like I'm a part of the tribe, not an outcast. I felt accepted so that's why I still deal with it, because at least I can be of some use for once and not a valueless child to them. This way, my end will still be held up in some way. I hate it though. It hurts me still because if I say it, somehow I still get hurt, and if I'm wrong I still get hurt. There was no win-win situation for me. Never, though, will I say anything against it, no never. It was the time they ever made an exception and paid attention, acting like they really did deem me important and care about me. Even mother, always holding back, showed the smallest hint of a smile on her face. Yes, never will I say anything against because it was the only thing that would show me love even if sometimes it was a double-edged blade that ended me in a pile of blood and enormous pain. It's okay though, because for just a while my tribe finally accepted me and the world didn't seem as emotionless and cruel._

_"Tanto give us the girl."_

_Father stopped, his grip around me tightening. Unconsciously, I tightened my grip as well. In my mind, I could already see the angry tribal members, the grieving family, along with the forever broken fiancé. The scenario was too much the same, engraving itself into my small mind, haunting me at night until I finally broke._

_"Over my dead body." He growled back protectively his furyoku enveloping us, until his snake spirit, Kurok wrapped himself around us defensively a sharp hiss escaping his mouth. The changes in spirit tingled my body as father slowly slipped into his oversoul._

_"Gladly you sorry excuse of a chief. At least you can finally go to hell you human lover."_

_I blinked hearing more angry grumblings against father. I buried my head into his neck, a second later feeling a soft pat on my head. My arms loosened as he bent down. Gently he set me down, giving me a half smile before ruffling my hair and said, "Stay back okay." A second later, a wolverine spirit (Tooiki) stood in front of me, a growl escaping her lips dangerously._

_Kurok sprang out dangerously, whipping himself into some tribe members. A loud roar was heard, a bear appearing. A hiss of laughter left Kurok's mouth, before his tongue whipped out, his mouth opening wide for a bite. Father appeared at the top of his head, lunging a second later at the spirits' partner, landing a kick to their face. A loud growl filled the air, a tiger in mid-flight, paws outstretched, nails out, mouth widened into a bite at father. Kurok hissed angrily, pushing past a dazed bear, his head snapping to a side when a raven slammed itself into him. Arrows pierced father from each side, blood splattering everywhere. Tooiki growled angrily, itching to get in the fight._

_"Father!" I cried out my hand outstretched towards him, my feet already beginning to run towards him. Tooiki pushed herself in front of me, a small whimper leaving her mouth. Tears pooled at the edge of my eyes, watching the snake spirit and his master fight alone against more than five shamans._

_A grunt of pain escaped his mouth, the sword piercing his shoulder until finally managing to break through to his back. Blood dripped down his body, but he still kept fighting. An unsettling feeling formed in my stomach, the smell of blood and sweat mingling in the air with something else. The need to throw up rose in me, the smell becoming stronger. Rotting flesh, it smelt like rotting flesh. More than one will die here on this battlefield. I swallowed thickly, pinning my eyes on my father, slowly seeing a black vapor start to surround him and everyone else. He was going to die. Father was going to die._

_"Tooiki," I called her name, clenching my fist angrily, feeling the wind slip around us teasingly. The wolverine looked back to me as if understanding what I had wanted, the words I couldn't say. A scream of pain made my head snap up seeing father cough out blood, a arrow lodged into his leg._

_Blindly, I ran into the madness with Tooiki inside. I screamed out to him, tears falling down my face. My hands were outstretched towards him, seeing him slowly turn to look at me and grin, blood covering his face. Then I just snapped._

_I felt it at first, the my spirit enveloping me like wildfire, connecting with Tooiki. The feeling was amazing. I never felt so free and strong before. I felt invincible and furious. The thirst for revenge overwhelmed me along with the thirst for their blood. It was odd, how I thought that the feeling of their death would calm me, satisfy me, because _I _was the one who killed them._

_A low growl covered the blood-filled air, making wonder where it was coming from. To my surprise, the growl was coming from me. I blinked my hands whipping up to my face, only to see sharp silver like claws on my fingers, a dark red aura surrounding my hands forming a paw. My eyes snapped up to see that the others were just as surprised as I were, but that didn't matter to me. No, my father was there lying on the floor, Kurok trying to defend his master who still managed somehow to keep his oversoul up. A angry growl vibrated my throat, the need to kill them all consuming me. Then my eyes showed red._

_In a split second, I launched myself at the nearest unsuspecting tribal member, my claws aimed at their throat. The sound of ripping flesh echoed into my ears, the feeling of their blood on my skin enlightening me. A dark laugh escaped my mouth as I brought my hand up to my face, licking the blood off the claw. I grinned evilly, launching myself again at another tribal member. I slashed at the raven spirit who flittered in front of me in a pathetic attempt to protect their master. Without wasting a beat, I spun around bending low before pushing myself up, slashing their entire torso._

_"She's a demon! Let's kill her now while we have the chance."_

_I stood up straight, my eyes narrowing dangerously at them. I will make it come true. I will kill every single one of them, ridding this world of such evil. Such a favor I will be doing for everyone, now all they need to do is scream to feed my pleasure of hearing them cry for the life._

_"Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be free? Let me save you from your hate. Dear my love, it's time to go. Don't cry and take my hand. Where I'll take you is a place where you'll be safe. There's no need to cry, I am here. This hate, let me save you; come with me. Don't look back you'll be safe. Dear my love, let's go and never look back. Your soul, I'll save it. Dear my love, don't hold onto this life. Let me carry your soul to a better place."_

_My head snapped over to the soft low voice. White hair flowed behind the singer, pitch black eyes staring straight at me. Black ribbons weaved themselves around her hair, large bangle earrings swaying with each step, gray feathers tied to one of her bangs, while the other was held together by a small red woven cloth. Her light cream colored buckskin dress contrasted against the blood on the floor as she walked calmly towards us._

_It was in her eyes, I could tell, that she was going to end my fun before it even started. No, she wouldn't be able to if she was _dead_. I smirked, crouching lowly, my lips forming into a snarl. Her black eyes stared at me blankly, stopping in front of me about a few meters away. Suddenly, I sprang forward, my arm raised back claws ready to strike. She wouldn't be able to block it, it was too low of an attack along with the fact she didn't have her oversoul on her._

_Pain erupted through my head, my body skidding back eyes wide open. I didn't even see her activate her oversoul. I blinked, my body finally stopping, pulling myself up a second later. The black blade of the scythe glinted in the light ominously, the white on top contrasting against its opposite. She held it confidently, staring me down with emotionless eyes. That didn't matter to me though. If that was her oversoul with Grim, then just imagine the destruction I could with it, if I captured Grim? I grinned evilly, knowing that I just _had_ to get my hands on Grim's soul._

_"Yoki, stop this tantrum." Her cold voice cut through the air making my grin wider. "Stay still for me."_

_"Eh?"_

_There was rumbling under the ground, my balance becoming unsteady. Before I knew it, I was pinned to the floor, my body immobilized by badger spirits. A cry left my mouth as I struggled against them. Mother appeared before me, her eyes flickering over to father's body for a moment. She then returned her attention to me, holding out a mortar in her hand. When she bent down and as I craned my neck, I noticed there was some odd colored substance inside making me squirm even more._

_"It's for your own good child." She whispered dipping her finger into it. She pulled it out and began to draw on my naked skin, right beneath the small dip on the chest. A scream left my mouth as I felt it tearing my skin apart. It was _eating_ my skin._

_Then it was all gone, the power, the thirst for blood, the anger. All that was left was pain, an enormous amount of pain from my chest and body. My insides felt like they were being torn apart, my body parts feeling as someone was roasting them over a fire. Screams left my mouth, feeling something rise up through my throat. The badgers released me and I turned throwing up whatever it was. The taste of copper stained my mouth, the smell of blood overpowering me. Then everything went black._

I felt warm and safe. I felt protected and I don't know why. Someone was holding me, but who? They were holding me against their chest, blocking me from seeing who they were. At the time though, it really doesn't matter all I know is that this feeling, I didn't want to let go of it. They ran their hands through my hair soothingly.

"Stupid girl, as if something like that would happen again." He whispered softly, hugging me tighter. I buried myself into his chest, recognizing their voice. "I'd kill them before they had the chance."

My arms wrapped around his torso, my teeth biting down on my lip as if not to cry. He had seen me at my most vulnerable. He knows of my insecurities and still he does something like this instead of ignoring it. Why does he make it so easy for me to fall in love with him? It would be so much better if he just hated me or I him. That way everything wouldn't be as painful.

My grip tightened, I pushed away the memories trying to think of happier thoughts.

If I hated him or vice versa, I doubt I could handle it. Even if he doesn't know it, Rowan may be savior but Hao was my pillar, the one who holds me up. I shouldn't depend on either one, but with their support I feel as if I could do anything; even go against my own tribe. But I don't have long. I will die soon either by their hand or by my own demise. I just don't want to die useless.

"You're far from useless."

Ever since that day, I was scared of becoming useless. I was scared at how I viewed everything. I was scared at how I let my power consume me like that. I just want that love I've always craved for and only gotten from certain people, but I can deal without it. Love and Death aren't a really compatible match.

"Stupid girl," Hao hissed in my ear, his hand at the back of my neck holding me closer to him. "Just live a bit longer until I become Shaman King. I'll definitely cure you."

I smiled a bit, the feeling of happiness slowly overpowering my negative feelings. Even though I won't live that long, it made me happy that he said such a thing. At least I would have memories like this to battle against the worse ones. At least, this way even if it isn't returned, I know my love won't be wasted. But then that is the fawning love-struck girl inside me.

"After you get rid of all the humans' right?"

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><p><strong>Alright guys the name is between Grim, Blaze, and Cerberus. Pm or review me which one you want and I'll tally them up and finally give the poor dog a name :). I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and please review, I live off reviews. Got any questions, ask and I'll answer them for you! Hope you you guys have an amazing morningday/night!**


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